Rutledge Family 2012 Christmas Letter

December 25, 2012

 
Merry Christmas to Family & Friends!

I am sending this letter through various mediums to different groups in hopes of catching up all those who might be wondering about the Rutledge Family and Burt’s health.  If you get it in multiple ways, please ignore any duplicates!

Perhaps one of the most exciting things about 2012 is that we had no occasion to use the health update group as Burt’s health remained pretty steady.  There were no hospitalizations and no crises and, for that, we are immensely grateful.  He saw pretty steady improvement for 3 or 4 months after the feeding tube was removed in October of 2010.  Things leveled off after that, which has been a little discouraging, but he is still in a much better place than he was even 2 years ago.  Through some additional testing, it was determined that he likely has a gluten sensitivity so he is currently embarking on a gluten free diet.  He also has also cut out Coke as excessive amounts of corn syrup tend to have a negative impact on the digestive and immune systems.  If you know him, you know what a big deal that is to him!

He is still in that awkward place where he is much better than he has been but still not well enough to be able to work regularly.  We feel that he is right on the cusp of being able to consider returning to work but just not quite there and that is a frustrating place to be at times.  He did take a couple of classes in January & February and really enjoyed those.  He decided, however, that nursing is not the direction he wants to go when he is better.  He has so many skills and talents that taking on a very intensive and demanding three year program is not something that either of us felt was in the best interest of our family.  When he is able to work, he may return to higher education or he may decide to work in elementary education or do something completely different.  Highlights unrelated to health for Burt from 2012 would include a road trip with his brother Mark to Nashville in March to visit their other brother, Dave, flying down to Georgia for the Lyle family reunion in June,  a second annual golf weekend with two of his best friends in October and serving as Best Man in his best friend, Wendell’s, wedding in November.

Daniel is now officially in the 6^th grade and loves being a “middle schooler.”  I think that is easier to love when you are homeschooled than it is for many kids who attend school outside the home J We work at lessons most weeks Monday through Thursday and then spend Fridays with our home school group or doing other things.  In addition to lessons he is also involved in Karate and a Middle School Choir.  He started his second year of karate in October and earned his purple belt around the same time.  Currently, he goes 2 or 3 nights a week and is really enjoying it.  While he may never choose to compete, it has been great for his confidence and coordination.  He also really loves being part of the Middle School Choir with Oakland Homeschool Music Inc. (OHMI).  We just enjoyed his Christmas concert on Monday and now are looking forward to a blissful two week break from all activities!

In addition to those regular activities, Daniel participated in numerous camps and the like during the summer:  Basketball camp on campus, church camp at MCYC, VBS at Rochester church of Christ (RCC) and Meadowbrook Christian church, and the children’s musical at RCC.  I don’t know if he will do basketball camp again, but he is already registered for summer camp at MCYC for 2013 and can’t wait to attend Elevate at the college for the first time.  He also plans to help with VBS (since he has aged out) and participate in his last year of the RCC summer musical in the upcoming year.

As for me, if there was a theme to my 2012, it would probably be that burning the candle at both ends finally caught up with me.  I am still teaching and supervising the Residence Life program at the college while filling one of the two live in Resident Director positions on campus, serving as lead teacher for Daniel, and doing photography on the side and I still enjoy it all, but I have had to pull back my teaching for the college significantly.  This has been hard on the budget and required some significant adjustments, but it has been good in many ways.  The cut back did not take place until the Fall semester and there were several things we had already planned that could not be changed so I was not able to take full advantage of the new schedule this fall but hope to be able to do better about just being fully present and available to those around me during the spring semester.  I am a big fan of “being where you are” and one of my goals for 2013 is to really live into that more.  

Other highlights of my year would include:  Taking up running, spending a lot of quality time participating in that activity with two of my best friends and “training” long distance with my three sisters in law who live in Florida, Tennessee, and Dewitt, MI, participating a half marathon with my three sisters on Mackinac Island in October and taking photos at my niece, Kaitlyn’s wedding in Missouri in October (and doing senior pictures of my nephew Abram while I was there), 

As a family, we were able to spend some quality time making memories throughout the year.  Some of the things we enjoyed were:  A quick trip to Florida in March to see Dad & Jeanie; our annual Michigan vacation with Mom & Harold and Uncle Tim; Several visits to Greenfield Village and the Henry Ford Museum with different folks (Anne, Christopher & Andrew Leonard; Mom & Harold; Dava Castro; Mark, Penny, Sydni & Dylan Rutledge) and an end of summer excursion to Cedar Point with Daniel’s bust buddy, Zack.  

These end of year letters are always a challenge for me.  By nature I tend to look at the positive side of things and, in reality, we are truly blessed.  Focusing on the positive, however, always runs the risk of painting a one-sided view of our world where everything is lovely and there are no trials.  The danger of that is that it is not real.  The joy in our year definitely outweighed the pain but that is not true for everyone.  For our friends and family who are hurting this season, our hearts are with you in your pain.  We want to be people who will rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn.  My prayer for you all is that God meet you where you are and provide people in your immediate circle who will represent Him by doing the same.

Blessings to you in 2013!

Love In Him,

Debi, Burt & Daniel

Rutledge Family Christmas Letter 2011

Dear Friends and Family:

The semester has come to a close and I finally have time to sit down and write the annual letter. All in all, this has been a very good year for our little family. We started the year grieving as Burt’s best friend from high school, Shane Cox, lost his battle with brain cancer a few days before Christmas in 2010. He left behind a devoted family and, as we are in that 1 year anniversary time period, we are reminded daily of what we were doing this time last year and feeling his loss in a significant way.

Shane, however, was a godly man who embraced his path with a never wavering faith and, as he left this earthly journey, he blessed us with his love and example. Burt was especially moved and inspired by the time he was able to spend with Shane a few days before his passing and that, combined with a number of other things, led to some very tangible improvements in his health.

We were very excited in late September / early October when he was able to have the feeding tube removed. He has been eating “normally” and, while he is still a bit underweight, has been gaining consistently. We were even more excited after Thanksgiving when he was able to come completely off the Fentynal pain patch he has been on for 5 or so years. He had been gradually coming down all year. He started out on 200 micrograms and was down to 25 before the last cut. He is still in pain and on other pain medication but that particular one is particularly nasty and removing it from his system has done a great deal for improving his functionality.
He is doing so well, as a matter of fact, that we have begun to explore possibilities as it pertains to going back to work. At this point he is planning on taking a couple of classes at Rochester in the Spring (winter) semester to see how things go. If all goes well, he will take a bunch of science classes beginning in Fall 2012 and apply for the new nursing program at the college in Fall 2013.

Daniel is now “officially” in 5th grade though some of his coursework is more in line with the 4th grade. We continue to meet with our home school group 3 Fridays a month and with a couple other families for history every Monday. We love the relationships that continue to grow there and feel truly blessed by an amazing and supportive community.

I continue to run one of the residence halls at Rochester College, oversee the residence life program, teach about 15 hours a semester and do photography on the side on an intermittent basis … no changes there for me. I think I write the same thing every year. I still enjoy it all even if there are times that I wish I could just do one or the other.

Some of the highlights of our year activity wise included:
• Two trips for Debi to Arizona to visit friends, one in January just to visit and one in July to photograph a wedding. We would have loved for all three of us to go but it just was not feasible with the cost and Burt’s health at the time. The next trip we plan to have all of us go … and I am shooting for a winter visit as opposed to a summer one. I definitely enjoyed the January weather a lot more than the late July weather!

• Another May Michigan vacation with my folks from Indiana and my brother, Tim. This year we stayed in Cheboygan and explored Mackinac Island, Sault Ste. Marie, and the Cheboygan area. It was a lovely trip and we plan to return in 2012.

• Lots of summer fun with friends. The college provides a wonderful backdrop for young people to enjoy summer fun with lots of room to roam and a river for swimming. It seemed like we had people over a couple days a week in June and July and we loved it. Additionally, Daniel went the MCYC for his second year of camp and participated in VBS at both Rochester church of Christ and Meadowbrook Christian church with many of his friends from church and the home school group.

• In October Burt & Daniel made a somewhat impromptu trip to Florida with my brother, Tim, to see the folks there. I was sad that I was not able to make the trip but I had to teach and really needed to be in the residence hall and the boys had a very nice time having “guy time.” One of my favorite parts was that Dad & Jeanie did not know that Burt and Daniel were coming. They were just expecting Tim so it was quite the surprise when he showed up with “extras.”

• In November we made our annual trek to Tennessee for Thanksgiving. One major highlight of that trip for me was participating in the 5 mile Boulevard Bolt in Nashville on Thanksgiving morning. All four “sisters” ran along with two of the nieces and it was a great time. I finished the “run” in about an hour and ten minutes and was very pleased with that time.

We also finally got family pictures done in November which was actually great fun. My friend, Sarah Robinson, is a photographer. I liked her work enough to actually pay her to do ours (and if you know me, that’s a pretty big deal) and we could not be more pleased. The family picture with the letter was taken by Sarah. The portrait of Daniel I did myself.

We hope that your lives are filled with blessings and that, even in hard times, you feel the peace and love of God in the coming year!

With Love,
Burt, Debi & Daniel Rutledge

Juxtaposition

I was watching the news last week and the opening story was about the famine in Somalia. The story was tragic and moving ... families who had not eaten in days going to refugee camps to get small rations of rice. Children dying on the journey. It was awful.And the very next story was about the NFL lock out and how owners and players were working on a agreement over how to divvy up the millions of dollars taken in every season and Bryan Williams cheerfully stated something to the effect that "I know many of us fans really want our football."

Really? I know the situation in Somalia is far more complicated than a drought causing famine and no one helping, but it gave me a start. How quickly we can jump from dire concern to “Wow, I sure I hope my fall leisure activities are not upset by multi-millionaires disagreeing over how to split the proceeds of the way we invest our discretionary income!”

Lord, please give me eyes that see, ears that hear, hands that serve and a heart willing to respond to your call!

Balancing the Important and the Urgent

It's the time of year for me when my life can easily become consumed by the urgent:  papers need graded for summer classes, syllabi need prepared for fall classes, forms need ordered for the residence halls, training needs to be planned, fall housing assignments need to be made, Daniel needs to learn grammar ... and math, and spelling.  And everything has a deadline.  The urgent can easily keep me busy from sun up to sun down.

But if I fill my days with the urgent then there is no time left for the important.  What, you ask, is important?  People.  Relationships.  All those little things that "interrupt" my busy schedule.  That is what is important.  Lately I have been reminded frequently of my days as a teenager in the youth group at church and I am so grateful for all of the people who made time for me as a youth because their time, thoughtfulness and hospitality helped to weave the fabric of who I am today.  As Daniel is getting older (he will officially be a pre-teen in September) I want to make sure that I am focusing on the important and not getting lost in the urgent.  

It is funny because what I believe to be truly important are not the things that will help me to advance in my career or will gain any status in the eyes of the world.  The last few weeks some of the most important things that I have done include hosting a teen / pre-teen night for our homeschool group and having a steady stream of 9 to 15 year olds in and out of my home.  I won't lie and tell you that there aren't times that I think "I just have too much to do today to have kids over (who always want to go swimming)" but then I remind myself that the time that I pour into them is of far more significance than getting the "urgent" things done right now.  The urgent will get done.  It always does.  But it does not need to be done at the expense of spending a couple of hours investing in relationships.

I am incredibly blessed to be in a situation where my job is live in.  This means that I am not bound by the constraints of a 9 to 5 day.  My apartment is certainly not luxurious but there is plenty of space for hospitality and I have access to resources on campus that most people don't have.  Additionally,  I only have one child so I am not in a place where my responsibilities to my own children require me to meed the needs of multiple people at different developmental levels.  These are all things that, when I look at them through the worlds eyes have sometimes seemed to be liabilities or regrets but when looking at them through God's eyes I see the opportunity to meet needs in a way that He has uniquely equipped me to do.

As you navigate your day to day lives I encourage you to look for ways that God has equipped you where you are and I encourage you to look for the important and trust that the urgent will, indeed, be taken care of as well.

May

It has been too long since I made a post.  My goal is to post once a week and I have fallen down on that since Easter.  The lenten season was, indeed, a wonderful clearing season for me.  It ended in the midst of crazy chaos, however, and I need to get back on track.  Graduation was last Saturday so we had that and all the craziness of move out in the residence hall.  Last week we closed on the house that we plan to "retire" to when I am finally ready to give up my live in position in the residence hall.  In the meantime, my best friend / sister and her kids will be taking care of it for us so we spent the weekend painting, prepping, and imagining ... and ignoring the work I needed to do to wrap up the school year.  I also started my first summer class last Monday night.

May is shaping up to be a month of joyful busy-ness with the house, vacation with my family coming up and all the normal happenings of early summer on campus.  I hope to begin to get a routine established this week so as to maximize my use of time to focus on what is really important while enjoying the slower pace of summer.

That's all I have for now ... no deep thoughts today :o)

Answered Prayers

I love to read inspirational stories about how God answers prayers in dramatic ways with exactly what His children need (or sometimes just desire).  Randy and Lisa Wilson in their book Celebrations of Faith tell the story of the family praying for a piano for their daughter Lauren over the course of two years.  Lauren's faith that God would provide a piano never wavered and one day  they received a call from a woman they did not know who wanted to give them her piano.  It is a wonderful and encouraging affirmation of faithfulness and persistence.

My experience of answered prayers tends to feel less dramatic than that but when I trace back through my history, perhaps it is not.  God's hand in the ordinary happenings of my life have led to the answering of many prayers over time -- quietly, subtly, like a gentle spring breeze.  The problem is that, just like the still, small voice, it is so easy to miss the gifts in the midst of living life every day.

Ten years ago my husband, Burt,  and I were in a financial mess.  We were up to our eyeballs in credit card and student loan debt.  My husband worked full time at a small, struggling, Christian College and I was teaching at the same college on an adjunct basis and doing therapy one day a week for a church in Flint, MI.  I was also pregnant with a baby for whom we had been praying for nearly 6 years.  We had impeccable credit but could not even begin to consider buying a house because no mortgage company would touch us because of our debt to income ratio.  Indeed, we really were not even sure how were were going to continue to make ends meet and provide for our new son. 

Shortly after our son was born our prayers were answered with full time job opportunity for me as a Resident Director for one of the residence halls at the college.  What was initially a temporary position  with a small stipend and an apartment to live in turned into a permanent, full time position with a salary and benefits.  Our immediate concerns about making ends meet and providing a home for our baby were solved.  A prayer was answered.

What we did not realize at the time was that God was answering needs that we did not know we were going to have with that position.   Around the same time that we were moving, Burt was experiencing increasing health issues which culminated in him having to leave his job and go on permanent disability in 2005.  The fact that we had been blessed with this amazing live-in position provided us with financial stability as well as a tremendous support system in our residents and neighbors during some very difficult years.   It also provide me with a great deal of personal growth and satisfaction as I was able to have the best of both worlds in terms of having a job / career that I enjoyed while at the same time still be able to be at home with my son and provide my husband the support he needed while struggling with poor health.

Over the past 10 years God has consistently answered prayers by providing us with support through family, church and friends.  Whenever we have had a need it has been answered.  Many times it has been difficult to identify specific ways that prayers have been answered because the support and prayer coverage has been constant.  At times the struggle has blinded us to the blessings. 

During that same time we have diligently tried to right our financial mistakes of the past.  We encountered Dave Ramsey and enrolled in his Financial Peace University course (twice ;).  Through God's grace and the help of many people at different points we eliminated all of our debt but the student loans.  We paid off our car and  began saving to replace it when the time comes, having been convicted that we do not ever want to have another car payment.  For the last several years we have been moving toward tithing to the church and have made a point to make that part of our first fruits as opposed to "if we can afford it after all the other responsibilities (and wants) are met." 

The end result has been that our attempts at faithfulness, however feeble at times, have been returned, pressed down and overflowing.  In spite of a disability that limits Burt's income and working for a non-profit college that cannot afford the most competitive wages we find ourselves in a position that 10 years ago we never thought we would be in ... we are looking at buying a modest home in a nice neighborhood and the mortgage company loves us now.  This is not something that we did.  It is an answer to many prayers.

Noise

As I have prayed and studied during the Lenten season I have chosen meditation as a lenten practice.  I chose it because it is a spiritual discipline with which I have little experience and it seemed like a simple way to begin clearing a small amount of space in my spiritual wilderness.  Knowing my own limitations to be great in this area, my goal was to add five minutes of meditation to my daily devotion time -- and five minutes of very basic meditation at that.  My goal was simply to still my mind and listen for five minutes.  Seems simple enough, right?  Let me tell you that, for me, that five minutes of "quiet" requires nearly herculean effort on my part most days.

I entered this season with a hunger and great anticipation for spiritual growth.  I believe that growth is coming but the serene peace and deep spiritual satisfaction I anticipated would accompany it has been sorely missing.  What I have discovered int he last 30 days is how much noise fills my world.  Noise comes in many forms.  Some if of it is audible -- the television, itunes, the kids, video games, knocks on the door, the phone(s) ringing --but much of it is not:  the computer, the efforts at trying to buy a house,  email, papers, housing assignments, resident roommate drama, meals to prepare, national events, world events, demands, busy-ness, noise, noise, noise.  From the moment I wake until the moment I fall asleep I fill my day with so much noise that there is no time to reflect and little chance to hear the still small voice that will guide me in this wilderness of my soul.

Please don't misunderstand.  Much of the noise is good noise.  Indeed, put into proper context, it is a symphony of beautiful music but without times of quiet and reflection it becomes mere noise.  The irony of this to me is that the last week or so I have been incredibly tempted to "cheat" on my other Lenten practice.  Every year I take this time to, in a sense, cleanse and reset by abstaining from the senseless electronic games that I tend to fill my empty time with.   For the last week or so I have been wrestling with boredom and a desire to escape from the noise in my world by throwing myself into the mindless occupation of computer games -- Solitaire, Farmville, Angry Birds, etc -- any of them would pass the time and distract me from the noises that are pulling at me.

But where is the sense in that?  How can drowning one kind of noise out with another really help me grow?  Or be more effective?  Or love the people around me better?  The obvious answer is that it can't.  Indeed, the drive to run to mindless occupations really seems to be a desire to run from quiet and reflection that I so desperately need in my world.  What a strange paradox that what I think I desire is more time for the things that are important and less busy-ness and yet when I have it I frantically fight it and want to run away from it!

So my clearing season has not been panning out quite the way I had planned but I can see the growth coming.  I have cleared a tiny space and see new life sprouting from it.  As I enter the last two weeks of this season I look forward to more still and quiet times and hearing God's voice turn the noise into beautiful music.

My Father's Eyes

When I was in college I sang in a small A Capella singing group called Autumn.  My senior year one of the songs that I got to sing lead on was an Amy Grant song called "Father's Eyes."  I loved singing that song.  I loved it because it was pretty.  I loved the arrangement, especially the part where my friend Kevin and I had a little duet.  Mostly, however, I loved singing it because it was meaningful to me.  The words of the song are this:

I may not be every mother's dream for her little girl

And my face may not grace the mind of everyone in the world

But that's alright as long as I can have one wish I pray

When people look inside my life, I want to hear them say:

She's got her Father's eyes.  Her Father's eyes.

Eyes that find the good in things, when good is not around.

Eyes that find the source of help, when help just can't be found.

Eyes full of compassion, feeling every pain.

Knowing what your going through and feeling it the same.

Just like my Fathers eyes.

On that day when we will pay for all the deeds we have done.

Good and bad will all be had to be seen by everyone.

And when your called to stand and tell just what you saw in me

More than anything I know, I want your words to be

She had her Father's eyes.  Her Father's eyes.

Eyes that find the good in things, when good is not around.

Eyes that find the source of help, when help just can't be found.

Eyes full of compassion, feeling every pain.

Knowing what your going through and feeling it the same.

Just like my Fathers eyes.

The song really sums up the number one desire in my life.   I earned a degree in Marriage and Family Therapy because I love people and want to help.  I teach counseling classes for the same reason and  I work in the residence hall with college students because I hope, in some small way, I can show Jesus to those around me.

I fail often.   So many times I fill my world with "good" activities and commitments and then have no time left for people.  My family probably gets the worst end of the deal on this.  Recently I have become painfully aware of how often Daniel is trying to tell me something and I am too busy to listen.  Granted, what he is sharing with me may not be of earth shattering importance but it is important to him.  And, even when it is appropriate to redirect and set boundaries, do I do it in way that he can see my Father's eyes?  

My life has not taken the path that I anticipated.  Ten years of dealing with my husband's chronic illness has not always made marriage the joyride I had hoped and I suppose it would be easy to use that as an excuse for focusing inward instead of outward (heaven knows at times I do that plenty).  But to allow that to become my approach to life would just open the door for bitterness and anger to set in.  One huge advantage of seeing the world through my Father's eyes is that it is hard to feel to sorry for myself.   Pain, sadness, and difficult trials are all around.  Why should I be exempt?

I am grateful for the reminders that God gives me on a daily basis of His love and compassion.  I am grateful that He placed this song in my heart and that, even after all these years it continues to renew my spirit and focus my actions.    I am grateful that by seeing my life and trials through His eyes I can see beauty and blessings that, with my own eyes, I would probably miss.

A Clearing Season

I grew up in the church of Christ and, in that context, we did not practice Lent -- in fact, I am not sure I even heard the term "Lent" until some time after college. The idea of a season for self sacrifice and reflection was never considered. Even today I have many friends, who I love and respect, who express frustration over the practice of Lent. I have heard more than once the question "Shouldn't we sacrifice and work to be closer to God all the time, not just during a certain time of year?"

While, in principle, I agree with that, in practice the intensity and focus that a clearing season like Lent can bring is not something that most people can maintain over a long period of time. It is certainly not something I can maintain and without out it I become buried in the day to day details and excess baggage in my world. Even Jesus withdrew for a clearing season of 40 days and 40 nights.

And so, though I fully respect and appreciate the right of believers to choose not to participate in a Lenten season, I choose to embrace it. My fervor for this clearing time has been growing and I first began practicing my own version of Lent about 4 years ago. I began simply -- I wanted to work up to a 40 day fast but knew that if I was ever going to get there I would need to start small. The first year I gave up my biggest time waster -- computer games -- and chose to fast one day a week. It was difficult, but very rewarding. I am far from a spiritual giant and cannot claim any great spiritual awakening but it ignited a spark of desire for more and, over the last few years, I have come to hunger for this time of year.

Last year I had high aspirations but just a week or two in Burt became gravely ill and my hope for a clearing season of spiritual growth became a fight for survival. I abandoned my efforts at spiritual discipline and just held on for dear life. God was ever faithful throughout this time and provided for our every need, even in my weakness.

This year Easter is really late and so, therefore, is Lent. Usually it sneaks up on me and I suddenly find it is Ash Wednesday and I have not thought about (much less prayerfully considered) how to best spend my clearing season. This year, I have been waiting with anxious anticipation -- praying and planning this time of reflection and focus. I am longing for a period of renewal and deepened focus in my relationship with God and with the people in my world.

If you are reading this, I ask for your prayers and encouragement as I enter into study and prayer. I fear we may encounter some rough waters in the next few weeks and I would really like to be able to keep my commitment, come what may. Lately I have seen rays of spiritual light that I have not glimpsed in many years. I feel a stirring deep in my soul of a part of myself that has been dormant for too long. I am excited and a little afraid of what may come in the next 40 days but I am ready to enter into my clearing season!

The "Best Super Bowl Party Ever"

We enjoy football in our house ... generally in a napping-doing other things kind of way, but we enjoy it. Most years we end up at a super bowl party somewhere but this year we decided to stay home. We spent Super Bowl Sunday going to church and bible class in the morning then after class we headed out to Sam's Club to do some grocery shopping and find some "Super bowl food." We walked around the store, sampled lots of different foods, and selected a variety of less-than-healthy food for our evening fare. We decided that we would grab a pizza slice for lunch (to top off all the samples we had tried) and then we would just snack for dinner. Daniel was thrilled and exclaimed that "this is going to be the best super bowl party ever!"

I have to agree that it was. We spent the afternoon watching pre-game while doing other things. We played a game of Minotaurus together (board games don't happen nearly often enough for us as a family). Daniel was delighted and Burt and I had a good time also. By the fourth quarter of the game Daniel was falling asleep so we put him in our bed and turned on the TV back there so he could "finish watching the game." He was asleep well before it was over. This morning when he got up he immediately asked me "Did the Packers win?"

It may not have been exciting and the food may not have been gourmet, but it was simple, it was us, and it was the Best Super Bowl Party Ever!

The Official Rutledge Family Christmas Letter

Dear Friends and Family:

It is time once again for the annual Christmas letter. We are in the process of moving to a more electronic format but I will continue to send a paper copy to those who have not yet fully bought in to the electronic world. I actually like the hard copy myself. I have all of our letters from years past along with all of the letters we have gotten from friends and family in a large three ring binder (actually, we have had to split them into two three ring binders). It has become an interesting sort of family journal tracking the highs and the lows each year.

If you have been reading my blog you know that this has not been an easy year in many ways and the last quarter of the year has been particularly difficult. I will refer you to other posts for details on that and will focus here on more of a year in review. In spite of the difficulties, we were still quite successful in making many happy memories. Some of the highlights include:

• Strengthening relationships through our home school group; Daniel is somewhere between 3rd and 4th grade now and we are in our second year of more academic classes with our home school group. We meet three Fridays a month for about 6 months of the year. In 2010 he had classes on rockets, weapons, writing, biology, and literature. He also does history with a couple other families once a week and at home we focus on math, spelling and reading in addition to his home school group classes. All in all his education is coming along nicely and the relationships we are building with the other families in our group are priceless

• Two gatherings with the Rutledge Family; In April we spent several days together in Florida at Burt's sister's place and in November we made our traditional trip to Nashville. It was wonderful to all be together. Daniel really enjoys his cousins!

• While we were in Florida we also got to spend a little time with my dad & Jeanie.

• More Michigan vacationing with my family; In May we spent a week in Michigan's Upper Peninsula with my mom & Harold, my brother (Tim) and my niece, Leslie. We found a fabulous cabin to rent and really had a wonderful time. If you want to see pictures you can check them out at our Shutterfly share site.

• Daniel had his first camp experience in July at Michigan Christian Youth Camp (MCYC) and he absolutely loved it. I really had not considered sending him yet but someone at church mentioned it in March and he said he wanted to so we did it and it worked out so well. We are thinking about doing one of the winter camp weekends in January or February.

• We spent a fair amount of time in the summer attending weddings (and photographing a few as well) of former students. One of the highlights for Daniel and I was a trip to Kentucky / Virginia with some good friends for the wedding of Lydia & Mitch Ruter. They got married at Cumberland Gap and the whole trip was really a very special experience.

I know we did many other things but it just is not coming back to me right now and I really want to get this letter out. I pray that whatever your circumstance this Christmas you will find peace, joy and comfort and that you will make the most of every moment you have.

May the Lord bless you and keep you until we meet again!

Sunday, December 12 we had a big snow and my son, niece & nephew spent a couple hours enjoying the first snowfall of the season. It was pretty wicked by this point in the day and the kids were headed in from the cold.

The next day Daniel continued to enjoy the snow. I love the view with the barn behind him!

Bittersweet

I am not sure how to write my annual Christmas letter. The last two months have been filled with such pain that I cannot, in good conscience, write a shiny happy "oh everything is wonderful" letter because really, it's not. The lows of 2010 have felt lower than any I have known and yet there were highs also. If nothing else, I want my letter every year to be real and I am just not sure how to capture all of this. Perhaps this is a start ...

This year has been a tough one emotionally. In March Burt got an infection through his pic line and was hospitalized for 10 days or so (honestly, I don't remember ... I do my best to let go of any details like this that are necessary to retain). What I do remember is that it was horrendous and the scariest thing we have encountered during the entire course of this illness. He was running a fever around 105, completely lost touch with reality for 2 or 3 days and, whether it was rational or not, I really did not think he was going to make it for a couple of days.

And yet, in that, God made his presence known through two dear friends who basically did not leave my side for 3 days and countless others who either came by, brought food, or donated money to help cover unexpected expenses and make up for the salary that I lost when I had to drop a class. It was probably the worst experience of my life so far but God was still there and still good.

On November 9 my community suffered the tragic loss of a wonderful young man, father, husband and leader in the church when Jeremy King suffered cardiac arrest and died while hunting. Jeremy was a wonderful man and he was fiercely devoted to his wife and children. He served as the worship leader for the Rochester church of Christ and was the grounds supervisor at Rochester College. He and his wife, Veronica were students at Rochester nearly 10 years ago and Burt and I actually did some pre-marital counseling with them. The really were a wonderful couple. Veronica has been very open in sharing her grief. If you want to know more about her and her family, check out http://veronking2003.blogspot.com/ His loss hit the entire community like a Mack truck and has left a gaping hole.

And yet, his funeral on Saturday and worship service at Rochester on Sunday were among the most intensely spiritual experiences I have had. The presence of God was so strong in that room as hundreds of people gathered, still in shock, to grieve and celebrate Jeremy's life and offer support to Veronica and her kids. My words cannot adequately capture the moment but, through it all, God was there and He was still good. In the days that have followed, Veronica and the kids have been showered with blessings and Jeremy's life and sudden death have inspired many people to do more, appreciate what they have, and make the most of each moment.

Today, Burt is in Pennsylvania with his best friend from high school, Shane Cox, and his family. Shane is losing his battle with brain cancer. He was diagnosed in August of 2009 and fought hard but his journey is nearly over. His 14 year old daughter posted this on Facebook last night: "I'm never going to walk down the isle with daddy when I get married.He is dying maybe 2 more days.Tonite I read the whole book of Job to daddy because daddy is like Job.He NEVER doubts God.Daddy is so week he can't talk.As I was reading to him he squeezed my hand & looked at me.I will never forget the look he gave me.Hes the only father I have & no child should have to lose their father at our ages.I ♥ u daddy" I cannot wrap my mind around this pain. She is the oldest of 4.

Burt has had the opportunity to spend the last few days there with them and to talk some with Shane as well as spend time with the kids. When I say that Burt and Shane were best friends, I don't think that adequately captures the depth of their relationship. As is true of many of us, that adolescent transition time of high school was a bit rocky for Burt. He and Shane were closer than brothers. They did everything together and Shane's parents, Rick and Judy, were like second parents to him. Indeed, Burt and I only met because Rick, Judy, and Shane convinced him to leave sunny Florida and come to cold, frigid Michigan to a little place called Michigan Christian College after high school. Although we have not been in close contact over the years since then, Shane is very much part of the fabric of who we are. Burt has suffered loss through death before. His brother, Chris, died when they were kids and both of his parents have already passed on but this is so intense and so difficult.

And yet, God is present and He is still good. He has provided Burt with the stamina to be able to make three trips in the last 15 months to spend time with Shane and his family and to be a support. This has been as important for Burt as it has been for them. He has provided resources that have helped Burt to be able to process his grief over this in a more healthy way than he ever has before. Weeping may not be fun. Hurt does not feel good. But it is healthy and it is a part of life.

And so, in this 2010 holiday season, I am burdened with deep sadness and grief. And yet, I will move forward with more commitment to love those who are dear to me and to give the best that I have. How can I not when I have been given this time and others have not? I will grieve when it is time to grieve and I will dance when it is time to dance. I will do my best to be a living tribute and to be the hands and feet for those who are not able to be here now. I pray that my faith, and yours, will continue to be strengthened by the inspiration of people like Jeremy and Shane and by God's presence in the midst of such difficult times.

Thoughts from Black Friday 2010

Every year we spend Thanksgiving with Burt's family. Generally we all meet in Tennessee because that is basically in the middle between Florida (where his sister and her family live) and Michigan (where we live and his brother and his family live). We have a tradition that every year the women get up early and go shopping on Black Friday. It is a long standing tradition and the highlight of the trip for some. Not so much for me as I really don't enjoy shopping unless I have a specific goal in mind. My sisters in law and my oldest niece all know this and are always patient with me as I try to get myself mentally prepared for several hours of shopping with crazy shoppers. In spite of the fact that I don't enjoy shopping for the sake of shopping, I do value the time spent with my sisters and niece.

This year, Target had a door buster sale on something that I really wanted to get Daniel for Christmas so my niece, Christen, volunteered to get up with me and be at Target when the doors opened at 4 a.m. Although I was advised against going at that time we were up and out at 3:40 anyway. The line to get in stretched to the of the building and it was chilly so Christen and I drove around the parking lot in her Mini Cooper a couple of times and got out to get in line at about 3:59. It took about three minutes for us to get in the doors and we fast walked to the toy department. There were two lego sets on sale and we quickly found the lego aisle and began looking for the one we wanted. Sadly, we were greeted by a big empty space where, I presume, the item should have been. We carefully looked all around with no luck. Christen commented that she could not believe that they were sold out at ten after 4. I decided that since we had put all the effort into getting there so ridiculously early we should probably ask someone before we gave up and left. I found a young man standing near the zoo that was the electronics department (there was some huge deal on TVs) and explained what I was looking for. He walked to the aisle where we had spent 5 minutes looking at every box of legos, turned to the other side, reached to the top and pulled down the only remaining set. He commented that he had been there since 2 a.m. and had stuck it up there because he could not find any other place for it. I nearly wept I was so happy! Not only was it significantly on sale but it also is part of a discontinued set that Daniel really wanted.

Having had such stellar success in our first outing, Christen and I got in the car and were home by 4:45. I could have been done for the day but we had plans to go to the mall at 8:00 with everyone else so I got ready when I got home and then just chilled for a couple of hours. Christen went back to sleep :o)

The rest of Black Friday shopping was pretty typical. We started at Starbucks, as is our tradition, and then hit the mall. I really was not looking for anything, as I had already gotten my prize earlier, so I just browsed and hung out with the girls. We shopped for about 4 and a half hours and near the end of it I bought some perfume. With that purchase I got a free bag. It was a BIG bag and bright red, faux alligator print. Initially I thought it was kind of neat but quickly I decided that it really was not my style and that, while some people would look very chic with it, it looked a bit gaudy with me.

As the mall trip drew to a close I went outside to get some fresh air. I was tired, a bit grumpy, and getting a little stressed because it was nearly 12:30, we had not had lunch yet and Burt, Daniel and I had planned to be on the road to Indiana by 2:00. As I started back into the mall to meet up with the rest of my party a woman probably in her 50s came out with another woman who looked to be her mother. The older woman admired my red bag and asked where I got it. I explained that it was a gift with a purchase and then, on a whim, asked her if she would like to have the bag. She looked a bit surprised and said that, yes, she would love to have it so I quickly removed my perfume and wallet, gave her the bag, and wished her a Merry Christmas. My mood was considerably better and my step a bit lighter as I went back into the mall and rejoined my girls. It was a wonderful reminder that doing something kind for someone else can do wonders for one's mood and disposition!

Thanksgiving Part II

It's Thanksgiving morning in Nolensville, TN. I am enjoying the sounds of the house waking up around me ... boys playing in the hall, breakfast being prepared downstairs. As I sit in the quiet and listen I reflect on Thanksgivings past. I think about how the kids have grown. The oldest kids in Burt's extended families are adults now. As I came in from walking the dog earlier I could not help but think that in just a few short years even the youngest ones won't be children any more.

I think about how I have changed. About how weary I am. The last 9 years have been a battlefield as my life has taken turns that I never would have anticipated. I have been blessed beyond measure with an amazing son, a great job (two, really), an enduring marriage, wonderful family and friends and an incredibly supportive church community. I want so much to dwell in the positive and I think that most of the time I do. At the same time, I struggle and lately I have been realizing that, in the last two or three years I think I have lost some of my ability to be patient and forgiving of others. I am bothered by this.

I know that my life is not what I expected. Having a chronically ill spouse with no answers to the physical issues and no end in sight is draining. I have had to let go of many of my dreams and ideas of what my life would be like. Mostly they are silly little things ... like going camping on weekends and taking road trips and serving together with my husband ... but those little things seem to touch every area of my life.

This month I have been surrounded by grief and, although it has only touched me in a somewhat peripheral way, it has permeated my life the last few weeks and brought my own grief over what I have "lost" into sharper focus. Even in the midst of this heavy and unpleasant angst, however, I am inspired to be better; to do better. I am inspired by Becky Milligan who, in spite of the loss of her mother to a long struggle with cancer, is positive and encouraging. I am inspired by Veronica King who has been so open in her grief over the loss of her husband and, without realizing it, is ministering to so many people as they grieve his loss also. I am inspired by Jeremy King and by Katie Kirkpatrick who left this life so early ... far before we were ready let them go ... and who left such amazing examples of living for Christ.

I am here. I have good health and am blessed in so many ways. Katie and Jeremy are not. They have no more opportunities in the flesh. I cannot waste my life wishing that things were different. I must move forward and embrace all that is good and do what I can to make the world better for those in my immediate circle and those who the Lord puts in my path.

So, on this Thanksgiving day, 2010, in spite of a heavy heart, I will move forward with thankfulness and endeavor to make the most of every moment. The Lord is my strength and my comfort. He will provide the way and He will bring joy out of sorrow.

Thanksgiving

This November has been a challenging one. The community I live in has faced tremendous loss and yet God is near and, in spite of pain and suffering, we have so much to be thankful for. Tomorrow morning I will be at God's Helping Hands for the annual Christmas shopping Saturday. This will be the third or fourth year that I have taken my Diversity and Cross Cultural Psychology class to participate in this incredible day as a service project. The need is great and I anticipate a big crowd tomorrow ... both of shoppers and volunteers. Lisa Cain posted on Facebook an hour or two ago that people were already lining up ... not many people in my world can probably relate to staying all night in the cold to make sure that you have an opportunity to "shop" for Christmas gifts. It's ironic perhaps, that this amazing work was born of tragedy. So, tonight I am thankful for Brian, Lisa, Darren, Kevin and Devin Cain. I am thankful for Jeremy and Veronica King and their children. And I am so thankful that God continually resurrects joy, peace, and hope from tragedy and despair!

Rutledge Photography Philosophy, Services & Price List

I have always enjoyed taking pictures. I like to capture special moments and the personalities of those who I photograph. Over the years people have suggested that I could shoot professionally. When I began to look into that (and even when I priced my own wedding pictures nearly 20 years ago) I was astonished by how much it costs to have someone capture those special moments. As I have begun to develop my own business my goal has been to cater to families on a budget who want to capture those special events but my not be able to afford to work with some of the higher priced premiere studios and photographers.

My style is simple and straightforward. I prefer natural lighting and settings but will also work with indoor lighting when requested. My goal is to catch a glimpse into the heart of my subjects and to go deeper than standard posed portraits. For this reason a family portrait sitting will generally take between 45 and 60 minutes. When the session is done and the photos have been edited I want you to have full access to your photos not for a limited time but forever. This is why I leave the prints up to you and prepare for you a DVD with your full resolution images complete with a copyright release. I also will post your images online and provide a link you can share with your family and friends.

My general rates are as follows:

Rates & Pricing
Prices are for sitting and CD with digital images. No prints are included in the pricing. The purchaser will own the rights to the photos and may make prints and copies as desired. If you wish to order prints through me you may also do that for an additional fee.
Homeschool School Pictures $30 / child
Includes 3-5 poses

Senior Pictures (up to 90 minutes) $200.00
One location, up to three wardrobe changes
Additional hour $100.00

Family Portrait Sitting, single family (up to 1 hour) $150.00
May Include individual poses of each family member, full family poses and subgroups as desired by the family.
Additional hour $75.00

Family Portrait Sitting, multiple families (up to 90 minutes) $250.00
May Include poses of each family group, full family poses, subgroups and / or individual shots as desired by the family.
Additional hour $75.00


Event Photography (up to 3 hours) $400.00
Additional hours $150 / hour

Wedding photography (up to 8 hours on location) $1500
Additional hours $150 / hour

If you want more details, have questions, are are interested in booking something please contact me through facebook or via email at drutledge@rc.edu.

Maple Sugaring Update

It's been about 10 days and we have brought in a little more than 60 gallons of sap. We were grateful for the cold spell the last couple of days that slowed down the flow. Today we brought in around 13 gallons so we will be boiling all day tomorrow to convert to syrup. Based on the weather forecast we anticipate another big day tomorrow.

As always, we invite anyone who knows us to come out and join us if you have the time. It does not take long to do the harvesting each day but it's fun. The kids really like playing in the woods and, on nice days, we attract quite a bit of attention from the "neighbors" walking along the Clinton river trail. We did a little impromptu educational program today with a lady who moved to Michigan from California and had never seen anyone tap trees for sap.

Maple Sugar

Last year we attended a Maple Sugaring program at Wolcott Mill Metropark and decided to try our hand at making homemade maple syrup. We tapped something like 13 trees and made more syrup than we had anticipated but had a wonderful time. It was particularly memorable for Daniel, Collin & Leslie.

This year we decided it would be fun to share the opportunity with our homeschool group so last Wednesday we did two "Intro to Maple Sugaring" sessions with 4 different families from our group. We tapped a total of 15 trees and let the sap flow!

We decided that it would be fun this year to track how much sap we got from each tree so we had each child write his or her name on a milk jug and select a tree. Every time we go out we log how much sap is in each jug before we pour it into our five gallon buckets to take it back to our place for processing. We are starting this blog entry so that any one who wants can follow along and see how much sap their trees produce over the syruping season.

We are tracking the collection on a google spreadsheet and you can follow along by clicking the link to Maple Syrup Log. We brought in almost 17 gallons on Friday and boiled all that down on Saturday. The yield was 2 quarts which really is excellent given that it generally takes 40 gallons of sap to make one gallon of syrup. We are planning on continuing as long as the weather is appropriate over the next two or three weeks so anyone from HOHOH who wants to come out one day and help with the harvesting and tracking is welcome to come. Just give me a call ahead of time!